You ought to know.
Maybe it’s okay that I don’t really have a place in the world. Maybe my place is a lack there of. I don’t have any useful talents, I’m not all that attractive, and I’m an emotional wreck. But maybe that’s okay. Because maybe I will find someone with useful talents like cooking or building things, someone attractive and someone stable to even me out. Yin and Yang, you know?
My older brother has changed his last name, leaving the name “LASTNAME” in the dust. Now, his reasoning is understandable. He hates dad. But it kind of makes me wonder if he tought about all the little future LASTNAMEs. I, personally, would be worried. Especially considering all of dad’s legitimate children are a little fucked up in the head. Well, BROTHER and I are. I’m not sure about HALF-SISTER, considering I don’t know her. Anyway, just tonight I was thinking how I’m going to feel when I’m going to get married, if I’m going to get married, and whether or not I’d be alright with changing my name. BROTHER knew my father much better than I did. And maybe the reasons he has are much deeper than I can understand. But it’s alright because uh…
I’m going to bed.
