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In a land not too far away from us but not too close, lived a young man in a small village called Vigenour.The small man, named David loved cars. He loved all motor vehicles really, but cars was what he really liked was his special red car called Betty.David would drive Betty every day, three times, just like his meals. He’d get up, and drive his car all over the island.Have his breakfast, drive Betty.Have his lunch, drive Betty.Have his supper then drive Betty.One fine day, lets called it a Tueswednesday, because it wasn’t so sure Tuesday but not Wednesday just yet.It was a weird place to live in, anyways,David drove his car, Betty towards the center of town to meet all of his friends. Unfortunately for David, and for the rest of the village, David was a terrible terrible driver.
Unknown to him, and to the local police department, who was unable to find the mystery of dozens of manslaughters within the last decade, David was the reckless driver smashing innocent victims with his front grill.
So David, drove after his delicious Lunch to the center of town to see his friend Jenny.
Jenny was a real cute girl, perky, but also quite innocent.
Upon arriving at the small cafe, La Roadtuer, the enjoyed a nice tea break.
David had parked his car out front, and they enjoyed discussing his passion for his vehicle
David had to pee, and excused himself.
Again, due to David being a horrible driver, forgot to put his car in park, and the car began to roll slowly towards Jenny.
Jenny, being completely retarded did not expect the car to roll towards her, and was slowly crushed by the car, resulting in a heavy death.
David came back to see that Jenny had left, so assumed that she had to run some errands, and shrugged off and drove away in his car, which was rammed up into the cafe’s eating area, but he didn’t think twice of it.
Of course, being a small village, nobody really noticed that David’s car ran over Jenny and flattened her head.
It was becoming later in the afternoon and David recalled that he had a job interview to attend, after he lost his job when his entire work dissapeared after he started working at the mechanic on Main Street.
Thus, David traveled into the hills where he was going to meet his job interviewer, but again, death would strike.
For the interview wasn’t really one, but a private investigator traced all the deaths (all which had skid marks on them, go figure, ) to David’s car, and asked to meet David in the hills to get him away from the people and silence him from murdering all the people within the lands.
David was driving normally, up and down the hills, listening to the radio, but he decided he wanted to listen to some old eighties cassettes, and began to look in the glove box, while still driving of course.
The man who was going to remove David was standing under the hill’s road slightly so that he couldn’t see traffic on coming, so it was a sudden suprise that the speeding David who was applying himself to finding that old rock and roller cassette flew towards him and crushed him with his car.
David sat up and played the tape and enjoyed driving straight ahead, but saw no man, and finally drove all the way around the island back to the Village.
Disappointed that he didn’t get the job, he decided to have supper at the local drive thru, that just was built.
David has never seen this type of structure in the small village, but heard about them in the big cities close and far from us.
He noticed the window said Drive Thru, albeit that he did not know to take it literally rather that it merely says there is one present.
So David foolishly plowed him and his car through the glass and began to flatten the baker’s dozen of people in line at the new restaurant.
David’s car was wrecked as was the majority of the village’s people.
Only a few handful people were left and the decided to exile David, due to the obvious conclusion that it is him who has been exterminating the island ever since he got his driver’s license.
Except that nobody knew how to drive, so they told David that he was to drive them and him to the docks on the other side of the town, they had to come as well due to they needed to witness David leaving so that their mind’s could be at peace so that they wouldn’t be worried he would strike back.,
And so, they all piled on a bus that was parked near by, and drove towards the docks.
All went well, at least in David’s perspective, except that he backed into an old lady in a wheel chair, crushing her spine slowly up until her face was mashed into old people pancake. And the many squirrels traveling on the road.
They finally parked by the docks on top of the hill and began walking down towards the dock where the fisherman would take David to the big city.
Alas, in a terrible way to end it all, David forgot to use the E-brake on the Bus, and it began to creep towards all the citizens lined up to see David be shipped off.
As the boat and David began to sail away, the bus shot like a cannon down the road towards the people.
The people were waving, some cursing to David, with their backs towards the large bus that was going to send them to their makers.
The bus smashed the crowd completely, nobody left, and drove off the dock into the sea with the remains of everyone.
David was to leave the small island, that wasn’t too far away but not so close. And arrive to the big cities far and close to us.
To this day, there are thousands of unrecorded deaths in cities of the world in which a vehicle has been used.
The
end?
- z. Zimmerman
